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Happy Fuckversary to Us

Hello! I found my fucking phone, thank the Trash Pandas. It was in the bed with my nekkid ass the whole fucking time. If I had only done the “Rich Dad” thing, I would have found it and saved all of your happy, sweet, fantastic asses the trouble of hearing me meltdown over a lost burner. I love Lady Cassidy’s advice: just go to Tarzhay and buy a new one! Well, my weekends are never that fucking simple. I fucking wish. I spend most weekends wishing I could take a long walk on a short pier. This weekend, though? This weekend was amazing. Ms. Will and I were celebrating an anniversary, of sorts. I had a bit of a sore throat, so, I just said fuck talking dirty, let’s just eat some pussy and call it a day. I was making myself caldo de pollo con habanero every damned day of this weekend, just to make my throat be my bitch and not the other way around. I know a fuck ton of you cocksucking bitches know exactly what I am talking about. And I love you for that. And champagne was involved…she got me a beautiful necklace and no, I am not speaking in code. I wish I had felt better, I wanted to do a blowout weekend with all of you so that you could help us celebrate, but the Universe had other plans…thank the Goddesses The Walking Dead is back tonight and they are kicking ass and taking down names. I always wanted a collaborative world, sue me. I wanted wet nurses in season three…

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Signed,

Phone Sex Goddess Femdom Mistress Courtney
Twitter @CourtneyControls
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Happy Coming Out Day and A Call for Help!

Happy Coming Out Day! I am so happy to be writing this blog post. I wanted to do a HUGE blowout this weekend for this holiday, however, I have lost my phone. I have looked all over the bedroom and no go. I am so disgusted with myself, I feel like I need a flogging. However, I called the cell phone company, bonded hardcore with a sweet man named Brendan, and here I am. I am so fucking bummed. But, on the plus side, Will is doing loads better. I am as well. I just miss you all so much, especially you, Doug, I miss the hell out of you. I haven’t been avoiding anyone, I just need downtime, you know? I don’t like labels, at all. I mean, they suck, and not in a good way. So, I send this blog post out as a collective wish to have you all send all of the good vibes, prayers, dreams, wishes, whatever…I NEED MY PHONE! I feel so lost without it. That’s kind of a damned shame, isn’t it? Are we all lost without our phones? Is technology replacing humanity? I don’t like to think so. I had such a blast talking with Brendan. He was from Phoenix and he told me that I was the best call he had had in his entire career. I was calling as Will, because, you know, she holds all of the cards, story of my motherfucking life. I need a fucking phone. Wish me luck, say a prayer, send me an angel, something. I can’t love you without my phone…

Click here to hear me read this blog post.

PS – There is bonus material in the audio. 😉

Signed,
Phone Sex Goddess Femdom Mistress Courtney
Twitter @CourtneyControls
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